Wales Leaves UK, Joins Euro.
Carwen Jones yesterday
In a rousing speech at the Welsh Senedd in Tiger Bay, Cardiff. Wales’ first female prime minister Carwen Jones announced that:
‘In light of David Cameron’s insistence on protecting the deregulated banking industry of London above all other industry we feel we have no option but to deal directly with the EU in Brussels.
We must take direct control of our European funding streams to bolster the regeneration of our industrial areas and secure our agriculture, fisheries and off shore 48 hour weekend floating discotheque rigs.
This will place us at the heart of Europe. Long live the European dream. Adieu Tory Euro sceptic nightmare.’
The markets were totally outfoxed and confused. Many international bankers had spent the week betting on the Euro currency’s collapse, Ms Jones’ unilateral intervention meanwhile boosted the currency’s credibility in an instant, pie charts were re drawn around the globe, raising the Euro’s credibility by 89 mega zorba Maxi points on the zaptak index.
‘There’s no Queen on the Euro!
The age of the oligarch ends here’
Shouted Jones. Ending her speech on a high.
A large crowd clapped and cheered during this historic, impromptu declaration of Euro dependence.
‘Fuck yeah! This is the kind of shit I want to hear from my politicians” exclaimed 22 year old union member Caradog Cale from Aberdâr.
The crowd dispersed peacefully into the night,
A light breeze blew in the chime of a distant repetitive beat from one of those new off shore disco rigs, beating through the mist like an excited young heart at 160 BPM.
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